


Charcoal Dusted Hearts

by badwolfegirl



Series: Charcoal Dust [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alpha Lexa, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, G!P, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Omega Clarke, Omegaverse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-31
Updated: 2016-02-10
Packaged: 2018-05-17 12:38:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5869906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badwolfegirl/pseuds/badwolfegirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After spending the last three years wanting to crawl out of her skin every time she met an alpha, Clarke never thought that could possibly change. Then she met Lexa. Rated for future chapters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lets Call it a Meet Cute

**Author's Note:**

> I have never written anything for the omegaverse, and it has been years since I wrote fanfiction guys. So please go easy on me. That being said, comments and suggestions are appreciated.

Clarke was stretched out on arguably the comfiest and reddest couch in the entire coffee shop reading the second volume of Saga. Her coffee, one of those iced frou-frou drinks, was long forgotten on the ancient end table behind her head. A puddle spread out around the plastic cup, dangerously close to soaking into the pages of her stacked volumes of Saga. 

She hadn’t noticed how busy the shop had become over the last hour or that she’d received at least a dozen angry glares from annoyed patrons. Given how many alphas that milled about, it was shocking Clarke remained so engrossed in her comic. Usually when a place became overrun with alphas Clarke would bolt, their acridly sour scents overwhelming her with fear and nausea. 

Clarke smelled her before she saw her. The only sweet smelling alpha in a nose burning sea of toxicity. 

Without ceremony, the alpha, a barely taller than her, dark haired woman around Clarke’s age, set her steaming coffee down on the opposite end table, lifted Clarke’s feet, and slid in underneath them. She relaxed against the cushions, allowing Clarke’s sneakers to rest in her lap as if it were an everyday occurrence. 

“What the hell?” Clarke yelled, more in surprise then anger. 

“There’s nowhere else to sit,” the alpha said. She opened her book and reached over to take a sip of her coffee. 

Clarke wanted to argue, but when she looked around the coffee shop she realized the alpha wasn’t exaggerating. Clarke guessed the only reason someone hadn’t done exactly what this alpha had just done or worse, was because Clarke was an omega. Alphas had a nearly irresistible instinct to protect omegas, unless they were in heat. Then it was every alpha for themselves, and they considered the unfortunate omega to be their prize. 

She was embarrassed, but annoyed with the alpha all the same. _How dare she have the audacity to just touch my person like that? What if I was mated or worse my friends had been here? She’d have been reduced to a bruise on the carpet._

“You could have just asked,” Clarke snapped. She didn’t fail to notice that her scuffed converse still rested in the alpha’s lap. The worn soles left dusty smears on the tightly fitted black jeans the alpha wore. Clarke definitely noticed how well the fabric hugged the alpha’s muscled legs. _Serves her right_ , Clarke thought. 

Instead of saying something snarky, the alpha set her coffee down, grinned largely, and extended her long fingered hand to Clarke. “Hi. I’m Lexa Woods. Can I sit here?” 

“I guess. If you absolutely must,” Clarke said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. She reached out and tentatively took the alpha’s outstretched hand. Lexa’s grip was firm, but her skin was warm and surprisingly soft. Clarke’s fingers tingled and an unbidden smile curled her lips as a giddy warmth bubbled up in her chest. “Clarke Griffin.” 

“Clarke.” Lexa’s tongue clicked over the ‘k’, annunciating the letter in a way no one else ever had. Clarke’s heart beat a little faster. Color heated her cheeks. “I like that. It suits you.” 

Green, her eyes were green. So green. Clarke couldn’t help but stare. She had barely heard a word of what Lexa said.

“T-thanks,” Clarke stuttered. _What is wrong with me? Clarke Griffin does not stare and stutter like a teenager with her first crush! I am suave! Confident!_

“Clarke, can I have my hand back?” Lexa didn’t tug the aforementioned appendage away, but she did squeeze Clarke’s hand a little. Not painfully, just enough to get her attention. 

Cheeks suddenly a furnace of embarrassment, Clarke somehow managed not to squeak in horror. Lexa’s hand had felt so good in hers, so natural, that Clarke had forgotten to let go. “Oh, ah, sorry.” 

“It’s not a problem,” Lexa smiled, and Clarke wanted to squeak again for an entirely different reason. 

_Why does she have to be so damned attractive?_ Clarke thought. 

Evidently satisfied with the conversation, Lexa picked up her mug and went back to reading her novel. Clarke did the same, taking the opportunity to hide her flushed face behind the tall pages of the comic. Clarke tried to read, she really did, but the colorful pages just weren’t as interesting as the alpha sitting beside her. 

With little subtly, Clarke kept lifting her comic to steal glances at Lexa. She admired the tight cut of her t-shirt and the well muscled arms they left on display. It wasn’t hard to imagine the rest of Lexa being just as fit. Clarke also spent a good deal of time following the intricate patterns of the tribal tattoo printed into the skin of Lexa’s right arm. 

Best of all, from what Clarke could see, there was no claiming bite mark on her neck, and Lexa certainly didn’t smell like a mated alpha. There was no omega scent mixed in with that of alpha. No, to Clarke, Lexa smelled like birch trees and rain with undertones of earth. Clarke idly wondered if someday she’d get to taste the source of that scent. If she’d get to sink her teeth into the alpha’s flesh and claim her as her own. 

_Oh my god._ Clarke blushed. She had been about two thoughts away from imagining what it would be like to have sex with Lexa. It brought her mind to a screeching halt. 

This was the first time since Finn, after what that bastard did to her, that Clarke was actually attracted to an alpha. The first time she felt safe in the presence of an alpha who wasn’t one of her best friends. 

It was weird, almost unnerving. Clarke felt gentle fingers start to draw delicate circles on the skin of her calf. It felt good. Calming. She’d just met Lexa, and yet… the alpha’s touch was a comfort to her, and Clarke was pretty damn sure Lexa wasn’t even consciously trying. 

If any other alpha had tried such a thing, Clarke would have decked them. It was terrifying and exhilarating all at once. 

A too familiar growl pulled Clarke from her reverie. 

Bellamy Blake, her best friend’s older brother, was stalking towards them. His chest was puffed out, his teeth were bared, and his hands were clenched into white knuckled fists. His growl was aggressive and resonated deep from his chest. 

_Shit,_ Clarke thought. _I do not want this. Not today._

Ever Since Finn, Clarke’s friends had been over protective to the extreme. They wouldn’t let an alpha touch her, let alone look at her. Clarke always bristled under their overreactions even if her inner omega was secretly pleased she didn’t have to deal with the stinky creatures. If she were being honest, her friends made her feel safe.

But right now? Clarke didn’t want the interference. She knew how worried and angry Bellamy must have been to see Lexa blatantly touching her, but Clarke would kill Bellamy if he scared the woman away. Lexa didn’t stink, Lexa didn’t scare her, and Clarke really liked that feeling. She wanted to keep Lexa. 

Clarke and Lexa both jumped up from the couch almost simultaneously. Instinctively, Lexa wrapped her arm around Clarke’s waist, and pushed the omega behind her. Situating her own body between Clarke and Bellamy. 

“Let her go! I don’t know who the hell you think you are, but you can’t touch the princess like that!” Bellamy yelled.

Lexa growled low and threatening in response. Clarke, body pressed tightly to Lexa’s back, felt it vibrate through the alpha’s chest. It was a warning and a promise of violence if Bellamy didn’t back off. 

“I have done nothing wrong,” Lexa said. Her voice sounded calm, but there was a deadly edge to it. 

The alphas began to circle one another, each tightly coiled body of muscle ready to spring at the slightest provocation. Lexa guided Clarke as they spun, keeping the omega held tightly against her. 

It was frightening to Clarke how much she wanted to just let Lexa take care of this - to just let her beat the crap out of Bellamy. Clarke could tell Lexa was the more dominate from the heavy cloud of pheromones the alphas were pumping out. It would be the easy thing, but not the right thing. Even if she was grew more and more annoyed with Bellamy by the second. 

Clarked wriggled free of Lexa’s protective hold and stepped between the battling alphas. “Stop it!” 

Both alphas froze, suddenly painfully aware that the omega they’d each been trying to defend did indeed have a mind of her own and was perfectly capable of speaking for herself. Clarke rounded on Bellamy first, “I’m fine. Lexa wasn’t doing anything I didn’t permit. I do not need you to jump in and defend my honor. I can take care of myself. If she’d done anything I didn’t like you know -” Clarke paused, a growl ripping from her throat, “ - _you know_ I would have punched her in the nose. Left her bleeding on the floor. Now, _go away_. I will call you later.” 

Clarke pointed at the door and glared at Bellamy until he slowly started to back away. He grumbled the entire short distance to the door. Clarke waited until the shop bell chimed and the door sealed away the outside world again before turning to Lexa. 

“And you,” Clarke started. Her fury cooled at the blatantly scared and guilt ridden face of the alpha. She opened her mouth to continue, but Lexa beat her to it.

“I apologize,” Lexa’s brow furrowed and she stared down at her shoes. “I overstepped. I acted as if I had some claim on you when I do not. I let my instincts get the better of me. It won’t happen again. I would understand if you would like me to leave.” 

“No, don’t!” Clarke blushed at her overeager response. She definitely did not want Lexa to leave. “Erm… I mean, yes, you did overstep, but you had no idea who Bellamy was. He was acting threatening towards you. I can’t really blame you for reacting that way.”

 _I almost let her pummel him. He had no right to assume. Did I look in danger? I think not._ Clarke thought. _But… I can’t lay all the blame on him. He’s done this before, and I didn’t stop him. Encouraged it even. Shit, I need to have a talk with him._

“Still, I am sorry, Clarke.”

“Give me your phone.” 

“What?” Lexa looked confused before she finally registered what Clarke was asking. “Uh, sure. Here.” 

Clarke snatched the offered phone from Lexa’s hand. It sported a TARDIS case, and Clarke smiled at the nerdiness of it. She entered her number and handed it back to Lexa. “I’ll leave this with you. I’d imagine you know what to do with it.”

“Yeah,” Lexa hit save on the number and slipped the phone back into her pocket. 

“Hope I see you around, Lexa.” Clarke had gathered up her comics and shrugged on her light jacket. 

“You’re leaving?” 

“Yeah. I’ve got dinner plans with some friends.” Clarke hesitated a moment, and then she gave Lexa a quick peck on her cheek. The alpha turned bright red. Later, Clarke wouldn’t be able to say why she’d done it, just that it had felt like the right thing to do. “Bye, Lexa.” 

“Bye,” Lexa said, her voice little more than a hoarse whisper. 

Clarke didn’t look back as she left, afraid that if she did, she would turn around and do something truly embarrassing. Like asking the alpha to come home with her. 

A couple blocks away from the coffee shop, Clarke’s phone buzzed in her pocket. Her heart lurched in her chest. Could it be Lexa? Clarke didn’t lie to herself. She hoped it was. 

It wasn’t.

 

 **Octavia:** WTF CLARKE? i just got a CRAZY call from Bell. he said he got attack by - i quote- a ‘feral alpha’?

 **Clarke:** Seriously? No. He did not. If anyone was acting like a ‘feral alpha’ it was him.

 **Octavia:** he’s so fuckin mad Clarke. what happened?

 **Clarke:** Uggggghhhhh… I was sitting with an alpha at the coffee shop. She may or may not have had her hand on my leg when Bellamy walked in. 

**Octavia** : WHAT? U let an ALPHA touch you?! Wait, SHE??? RAVEN SPIT OUT HER DRINK WHEN I TOLD HER! its funny as shit clarke

 **Clarke:** Almost there. I’ll tell you the whole story in a minute.

 

When Clarke entered Grounders Pub, she found her friends already in their favorite booth set up with waters and a basket of nachos. Unsurprisingly, Bellamy was nowhere to be seen. He probably went home to brood or hit things after their encounter. Alphas didn’t like being told off by omegas. It wasn’t the first time, and it wouldn’t be the last time he and Clarke had clashed. 

“So, the most pressing question. Is she hot?” Raven demanded before Clarke could even sit down. 

“Nice to see you too, Raven.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Raven waved a dismissive hand, “Spill it, Griffin. Now.” 

“Yeah, Clarke, tell us. Please?” Octavia was just as excited to hear about this mysterious alpha as Raven and only managing to hide it a little better. It was only natural, it had been ages since Clarke was interested in anyone. It had been far too long since the alphas had been able to tease Clarke on the subject. 

So Clarke told them. Every tiny, excruciating detail until the duo was satisfied. By the end, Raven and Octavia were both grinning so hard, Clarke thought they might actually split their faces open. 

“Awwww, our little omega is all growed up,” Raven cackled.

“We’ve got to celebrate.” Octavia waved down the waiter and ordered a round of shots. 

“Isn't it a little early for shots? And don’t you two think you’re getting a little ahead of yourselves? I just met her today. Who’s to say I’ll ever hear from her again?” Clarke frowned, clearly distressed by the thought. 

Raven screwed up her face and stared Clarke right in the eyes. “Clarke - _Clarkey_. Listen. This Lexa is the first alpha you’ve met in three years that you don’t think smells like the ass end of a donkey. If you two aren’t fucking in a week,” Raven shrugged, “I’ll eat that fuzzy blue ball that used to be cheese in the back of our fridge.” 

“Disgusting,” Octavia mimed vomiting. 

“You realize now I’m not going to sleep with her just so you’ll have to eat that, right?” 

“Not worried. You haven’t had sex in three years,” Raven replied.

“Harsh,” Octavia said. The waiter set a tray of shots in front of the trio.

“I hate you both.” Mostly because they were probably right. 

“Shhh,” Raven placed a finger on Clarke’s lips. “You love us. Now drink.” 

“Screw it,” Clarke grabbed a shot and downed it. Octavia and Raven cheered. _I can be optimistic just this once._

A couple hours and a ton of alcohol later, Clarke’s phone buzzed from it’s spot on the table. 

 

 **Unknown Number:** Sky Princess, it is I, Lexa. You are pretty. Very, very pretty.  
That is all.

 

Clarke snorted a laugh, “Oh my god, Lexa.”


	2. Clingy Bad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa is a giant drunk dork.

Beer bottles surrounded a near empty pizza box not unlike a crown. Lexa, cross legged on the edge of the plush rug that covered much of the wood floor, thrust her hand forward in an uncoordinated gesture. Completely missing the slice of pepperoni she’d been after, her hand crashed into one of the bottles sending it toppling towards the floor.

Anya casually caught it, and returned it to its place in the formation. She sighed, waiting for Lexa to continue. 

“Opps,” Lexa giggled. She had already forgotten what she had been trying to do. In fact, Lexa had forgotten why she was even sitting in her living room or why her adoptive sister was glaring at her expectantly. _Think Lexa. You had something important to say._

It was so difficult to concentrate through the warm haze that had descended upon her mind. Then it came to her, and Lexa wondered how she could have ever possibly forgotten.

Bursting into action, Lexa rose to her knees and slammed her palms down on the table. The bottles clinked and shook.  “Anya, I need your help! What do I do? What do I do?” She grabbed her sister by the shoulders and shook her. Anya gripped Lexa’s fingers and pried the younger Woods’ hands away from skin that was surely bruised. 

“Jesus, Lex. Calm down. Tell it to me again. Slowly. Actually breath this time.” 

“No. I already told you…” Lexa trailed off. Her eyebrows scrunched and her mouth pulled down into a concentrated frown. She popped it open again in a silent realization. “Three times!” She held up three fingers, a big old drunk grin on her face. She was ridiculously proud of herself.

“Stop that. It’s weird. My sister glowers. She doesn’t make faces like that.” 

Lexa stuck her tongue out at Anya. “Make me.” 

“Child.” Anya rolled her eyes. Lexa was normally an insufferable git after she succumbed to love at first sight, but tonight the alpha was reaching whole new levels of aggravating. This Clarke really must be something special. 

Anya took a deep breath and put  her hand on Lexa’s bicep in an awkward conciliatory gesture. Lexa immediately perked up, expectant. Even drunk Lexa knew the patterns of these conversations. This was the advice part.

“Lex, from what I’ve gleaned from your babbling, you just have to call the girl. She gave you her number. Trust me. She’s interested.”

“She’s so pretty, Anya. And she smells really good. Like charcoal and chocolate and the sky.”

“Yeah, no. That doesn’t sound weird at all. Especially not in that combination.” 

“You don’t understand.” 

“No, I don’t. Figure out your own damn love life, Lex. I’m going to bed.” 

“Nooooo, don’t leave me.” Lexa tried to reach backwards and grab Anya’s leg, but she flopped hard onto her back instead. “Owww.” She let out a little giggle before degenerating into a full blown fit of them.

“God, you are embarrassing.” Anya stalked away.

 _Clarke, Clarke, Clarke_ . Lexa thought in sing-song, her hands floated above her face dancing in time with the tune. _I’ve got it bad. Oooh so bad._  

Rolling over onto her stomach, Lexa tried to pull her phone from her pocket, but her clumsy fingers couldn’t quite negotiate the fabric. _Who invented pants? Why are mine so clingy?_  

Getting to her feet was a struggle. Her arms wobbled when she tried to push herself up. Grunting with effort, Lexa belly crawled the three feet to the coffee table. She stared at its legs. _Gaaaah, why’d I buy such a tall table?_ Up her hands stretched until they found the table’s edge. Lexa was halfway to her knees when she slipped, her forehead narrowly avoiding the table’s corner.  

“Table evil,” she moaned. “Hi, ceiling. You’re so beamy. Can’t chat. Got to go.” This time Lexa didn’t over think the basic operation of standing. She just launched herself up and found herself on her feet. She smirked. _Well done, Woods._

Her hands fumbled with the button on her jeans. _This is worse than the clingy_. It probably only took her a few seconds to pop the button and unzip her pants, but to Lexa it felt like hours. She hooted in victory and did a little dance - a wildly uncoordinated, about to topple over kind of dance.

 _Get off me pants._ Lexa shimmied the jeans down over hips, pulled out one leg, and dropped the denim. She jiggled her still captured foot until the jeans flew across the room and hit the wall. _Freedom!_

Boxers and tribal inspired thigh tattoos now on display, Lexa swayed over and retrieved her pants. She unceremoniously flipped them upside down and shook. Out dropped her keys, wallet, chapstick, phone, and a lone marble which rolled away and settled under the couch. _Ah, victory you are mine!_

Lexa scooped up her phone, leapt onto the couch, tapped on Clarke’s contact, and started typing. Her drink addled brain didn’t grasp just how bad of an idea it could be. 

 

 **Lexa:** Sky Princess it is I, Lexa. You are pretty. Very, very pretty.

That is all.

 **Clarke:** Either you’re an adorable nerd or you’re drunk.

 **Lexa:** Both. Definitely both. 

 **Clarke** **_is typing..._ **

 

“Lexa, what are you doing?” Sometime in the last few minutes Anya had reemerged, and she now loomed behind the couch, hard eyes narrowed into slits. Lexa could tell Anya was confused by something, but she had no idea what. “Do I even want to know why you’re not wearing pants?” 

“She types so slow.” Lexa’s eyes got really big. “Facetime!” 

Anya groaned. Lexa didn’t notice. Despite what she had told Lexa earlier, Anya wasn’t about to let Lexa screw up her love life, at least not to the degree she was about to. She snatched the phone away. “You will thank me later.” 

Lexa slumped over on the couch, boneless. “Ugh.” 

“Go to sleep.” Anya left the room again. Lexa knew she would get her phone back in the morning, but that was just so far away. 

“So mean,” she mumbled into a cushion. 

Instead of going to bed, Lexa turned on Netflix. She picked some random eighties chick flick and cracked open another beer. It was probably the last thing she needed, but she wanted it. She also decided she wanted popcorn. It was a close call, but somehow she managed the microwave without burning down her apartment.

It wasn’t until she was settled back on the couch that Lexa felt a prickling sense of nakedness crawl up her neck that had nothing to do with her lack of pants. Lexa needed her phone.  She wanted to keep texting Clarke, not to mention she had so much social media to catch up on. What would her tumblr followers do without her? 

But Clarke! She had to talk to Clarke. The omega probably thought Lexa was ignoring her. Or worse she thought Lexa wasn’t interested, and Lexa was very, very interested.  “Anya must pay for such treachery.” 

 _How could she do this? Does she not want me to find a mate and have little Lexas? That’s it, isn’t it? She’s terrified of mini mes! Unacceptable… I will avenge my unborn pups!_ Lexa shoved a handful of popcorn in her mouth. _But how? I could hide all her underwear… No, I did that before. She just bought new ones. Maybe I could break open her keyboard and put dirt and grass seeds in there._ She took a swig of beer, and swished it around in her mouth before swallowing. _Weeds in her keyboard! Ha! She’d never expect it._  

 _Or maybe… Maybe I could cut out bug shapes and glue them inside her lampshades. Hornets! She’d piss herself. Mwhahaha. No one crosses me._ The last piece of popcorn crunched between her teeth. _I wonder if Clarke knows any good pranks. I should ask her. She could help me avenge my pups! Our pups? No, Lexa, too far ahead of yourself. Stooooop._

 _I wonder what Clarke’s doing? Probably sleeping. I bet she’s pretty when she sleeps._ She licked the butter from her fingertips and smiled. _What if she snores? I snore. Anya has assured me it's cute. What if Clarke’s snores are cuter? I bet they are._

“Need my phone,” Lexa said. _Anya’s got to be sleeping. Rescue mission a go!_  

Lexa set the bowl of popcorn kernels on the floor, and tiptoed out of the living room. The wood floor transitioned to carpet, muffling her footsteps. Yet she still managed to step on every creak, and she collided with the wall twice as she swayed down the hallway that housed her and Anya’s bedrooms. Quiet, Lexa was not.

Anya’s door, predictably, was closed, but not locked. Lexa pressed her back against the wall and eased down the handle. Thankfully, the door swung open without a squeak. She cautiously slipped inside.

The room was layered in darkness. Lexa could just make out Anya spread eagle across her bed, covers thrown aside. Her breathing was even and deep, and a line of drool crawled down the side of her jaw. Lexa scanned the room for her prize and saw it when her phone buzzed and lit up on Anya’s nightstand. Lexa rolled her eyes. _Did you even try to hide it?_

Surely Anya should have known that Lexa would try to steal back her phone. It was Lexa’s after all, and she did not part with her crap easily. Plus she desperately needed to talk to Clarke.

Too eager, Lexa made a mistake. A normal person would have just walked around the bed and grabbed the phone off the nightstand. Lexa was not a normal person. She was a drunk, overconfident alpha. Lexa tried to leap over the bed. Arms straining towards the nightstand, she smashed nose first into Anya’s stomach.

 _Oh no_ , Lexa thought. _Bad. Bad. Bad._

Anya shot up, hands pushing wildly at Lexa’s face. Anything to get the weight off. Lexa didn’t react in time to offer resistance. She rolled right off the bed and onto the floor with an, “Oompff.”

Angry eyes peered over the end of the bed. “What the..? Are you serious?!”

Lexa wasted no time. She lurched off the floor and snatched her phone off the nightstand. She didn’t even have time to unlock the screen before Anya was trying to wrest it away. “Give me that.”

“No, mine!” Lexa snarled. She scrambled backwards and crouched defensively in the corner between Anya’s nightstand and dresser.

“You’re ridiculous. It’s 3AM.”

“Mine.” _And you’re not getting it back._

“I guess I have no choice then,” Anya said. Calmly, slowly Anya rose from her bed. Lexa grew nervous. She tucked her phone into the waistband of her boxers and bared her teeth, hands threaded tightly into the carpet. A soft growl burbled up from her chest.

Anya wasn’t intimidated. It was one of the perks of being a beta. Alphas weren’t scary, and omegas didn’t automatically come off as the sweetest things on earth. Normally Lexa knew such tactics wouldn’t work on Anya, but tonight she had too much alcohol humming through her veins to be sensible.

She let Anya get within touching distance before she tried to run away. Anya stuck her foot out, and Lexa tripped. Having her nose smushed into things was becoming way too familiar for Lexa’s liking. Before she could roll over or try to run again, Anya knelt on top of her. Her knee was jammed between Lexa’s shoulder blades, and her left palm was pressing Lexa’s face into the carpet. The alpha was effectively pinned.

“Get off me,” Lexa said. Sometime during all this, her world had started to spin. It was hard to tell if the cause was the alcohol or Anya’s knee.

“No.”

“Ugh. Please?” _Dizzy. So dizzy. Ouu soft floor. That’s nice. Feels good. So much spinning. I’ll close my eyes for a second. Mmm.. that’s nice. Less spinny._

A snore escaped Lexa. Anya sighed and let up the pressure. She returned Lexa’s phone to her nightstand, and stared down at the passed out alpha. “I should leave you there.” If she thought Lexa might learn anything from it, Anya might have done just that. Instead she knelt down, hoisted Lexa up into a fireman’s carry, and carried the alpha to her own room. “You are way too heavy for someone so small.”

After she vomited, Lexa vaguely remembered snippets of the incident the next morning. Her arm was draped across the toilet seat as her head lolled over it. There wasn’t a question of if she would vomit again, it was when.

Footsteps rang out like church bells on a particularly holy Sunday. Lexa clamped her free hand over her upturned ear, and let out a pathetic little whine. “Quieter. Be that.”

Smirking in delight, Anya leaned against the doorframe. As far as she was concerned, Lexa deserved a horrible hangover. “What do you say?”

Lexa opened one eye and did her best to glare at Anya. “Thank you, Anya, for not letting me make an absolute fool of myself.”

“Anytime, little sister.”

“Coffee?” Lexa asked, not bothering to hide the note of desperation that leaked into her voice.

“No, but you can have your phone back.” Anya tossed the Tardis encased phone carelessly onto the rug in front of the toilet. “The damn thing has been going off non-stop since I woke up.”

“Mm, kay. Thanks. Go away now.” Lexa waved her hand dismissively at Anya and prayed she would leave her to vomit in peace. She wasn’t that lucky.

“I’ve got to shower. Get out.”

“Can’t.” Lexa instinctively gripped the toilet harder. She wasn’t going to budge easily.

“There’s a bucket under the kitchen sink.”

“The kitchen is too bright. I may die.”

“Not my problem.” 

“It is. You’d have to deal with the corpse.” 

Anya huffed, “Ridiculous.” 

Silence reigned for a moment, and then the footsteps were back.  Lexa bit back the urge to whine again. To Lexa’s eternal embarrassment, Anya barely had to try to remove her from the toilet. 

That didn’t mean Lexa made it easy for her. As soon as she was dislodged, Lexa went limp. “Are you kidding me, Lex? I have to work.”

“Be stinky. The bathroom is mine.” 

“You are the worst,” Anya said. “I don’t have time for this.” Anya lifted Lexa under the armpits and dragged the bone limp woman from the bathroom. She left her on the floor right outside the door. The Tardis followed a second later, landing with a hollow thump on Lexa’s stomach. The door slammed shut. 

“I thought you loved me!” Lexa yelled. It was doubtful Anya heard her over the spray of the shower. She vowed not to move an inch. _If I’m lucky she’ll trip over me on her way out._

As long as she was just laying there, she thought she might as well check her phone. The device that had filled her with such urgent wanting the night before only invoked dread now. What if she had sent Clarke something truly mortifying last night that she didn’t remember?  

Lexa unlocked her screen with a nervous wince. She had like a million text messages, but most of them were from an unknown number and not Clarke. Lexa still read Clarke’s first.

 

 **Clarke:** I think I like you

 **Clarke:** did you know you got green eyes i cant get them outta my head 

 **Clarke:** we should date

 **Clarke:** leeeexaaaaa where did ya go?

 **Clarke:** come baaaaaaaaaaaccckkk 

 **Clarke:** hey Lexa this is Clarke’s friend Octavia. i confiscated her phone. i’m sure she’ll talk 2 u 2morrow.

 **Clarke** : Oh my god, Lexa. I’m so sorry. I drank way too much last night. I hope I didn’t scare you off.

 

Lexa grinned and pulled up the reply box.

 

 **Lexa:** No apology necessary. I too had my phone confiscated last night if I am to be honest. I think we should go on a date too.

 

Satisfied with her response, Lexa pulled up the thread from the unknown number. She was instantly confused.

 

 **Unknown Number:** I have seen hell, and it is blue, lumpy, and smells like dirty feet. You need to bone Clarke! Like yesterday!

 **Unknown Number:** So are you as hot as Clarke claims? 

 **Unknown Number:** Selfie? 

 **Unknown Number:** OMG she won’t shut up about how pretty your eyes are. Your not even dating yet and your disgusting. 

 **Unknown Number:** Now shes talkin about your tight pants. I’m gonna vomit. 

 **Unknown Number:** According to Clarke your the hottest fuckin woman on earth. Seriously, selfie? I need to know if its true. 

 **Unknown Number:** Shit. Clarke is wasted. Text her back you idiot.

 **Unknown Number:** She vomited in the backseat of my car. I blame you.

 **Lexa:** Who is this? How did you get this number?

 **Unknown Number:** It’s GOD. Be in awe mortal. I stole it. :)

 

Obviously, the mystery texter was one of Clarke’s friends, but Lexa couldn’t begin to fathom at this point which one. All she knew for sure was that it probably wasn’t Octavia, and Clarke probably had no idea this friend had texted her.

  
Lexa was curious, but not curious enough to care at the moment. She filed the mystery away for another day, and grinned when she heard the shower turn off. Lexa was going to trip Anya if it was the last thing she ever did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed drunken, dorky Lexa being obsessed with Clarke and annoying the crap out of Anya as much as I enjoyed writing about it. 
> 
> I had intended to post this chapter yesterday, but I tried to cut my thumb off instead and spent the night in the ER. Also, it seems I had some format issues when I first posted this chapter. Hopefully, I've succeeded in fixing those.


End file.
